Spark - Light Your Fire
by Once Upon A Star Trek
Summary: Let your soul guide you and become the spark. All she ever wanted to do was help. But after a traumatic attack, therapist Regina finds herself on the receiving end of psychotherapy. Non magical AU.


_Hi folks!_

_Here is another one from me. I kind of took inspiration from a song I want to write but haven't finished yet. But at least the story got done finally._

_LG Ari_

* * *

Regina Mills sighed heavily as she stood in front of the heavy door. It was her daily ritual to take seven deep breaths before heading into work, as a way to try to center herself and prepare for what was to come. Why, just why had she taken that job in the first place, she asked herself. Sure, because she had wanted to help people. People said she had a bit of a savior complex, always seeing the good in everyone. She had wanted to support them on their way to become better. She had had an understanding for young people that had gotten off track and had seen it as her mission to guide them back into society.

But now, every single morning, the thought of going through that door filled her with dread. Regina worked for a rehabilitation organization for teenagers with criminal background and a certain mental instability, dealing with seven teenagers who had been released from jail to be reintegrated into society. She was practically a counselor, teacher and group therapist all in one. Every day was hell. No matter what she tried, she couldn't get through to any of them. They disrespected her, hurt and insulted her; every word out of their mouths felt like a punch in the gut. She thought back to her first day on the job.

She had just finished college, as a psychology major with a minor in social work, and the job seemed just perfect for her. Working with young people had been her dream. A middle-aged man had briefed her on everything and explained what to do, showing her around and briefing her on the teens she was dealing with. There was Cruella, who hurt puppies with a passion. David, who had been a stalker and Ivy, who had tried to kill her mother for a twisted kind of revenge. Zelena, who had sworn to end her sister for their mother's sins, and Peter, who insisted he was still a child, a very brutal one at that. Killian, who was the most violent and liked to pretend to be a pirate, and then there was Rumple, who was just outright crazy. The man who briefed her had been so enthusiastic, she remembered. On second thought, it was probably because he had been overjoyed to be gone from this place. It had taken Regina less than two months to ask to quit. But her superior had begged her to stay, because who else would take care of these kids? And that was what she told herself every single time she considered leaving. Which was at least several times a day. On good days, it was only twice, maybe thrice. On bad days, it could be well over a dozen.

Today was such a bad day. It wasn't even noon when she broke down in the bathroom. She splashed some water into her face and looked into the mirror. Her glasses were fogged up from all the crying she was doing. The dark brown eyes behind them were empty and hollow. Running her hands through her black hair, she just stared at this pathetic creature that was her own image. She dried up and made herself somewhat presentable to go back and face them, when a distinctive smell met her nose.

"Is that pot I'm smelling?", she asked as she entered the common room. It was a rhetorical question. The boys and girls didn't even look up or try to hide the drugs they were unpacking, ready to use. Trying the approachable way, she sighed. "Listen. If you hand those over to me to dispose of them, I will not tell anyone of this, okay? Do we have a deal?" "Deal? I like deals!", exclaimed one of the older - and crazier - guys: Rumple. "Let's deal with Scar over here first!"

Scar. They called her many names, but that was one of the ones that hurt the most. It was not creative, just a low dig at the scar she sported on her upper lip. As if she cared about her appearance at this point. The thing that hurt about it was being compared to a villainous lion who killed his own brother and tried to kill his nephew for power. The thought alone…

A kick to the gut brought Regina back into the present. Something cracked and she fell backwards into the desk which broke in half. Then it rained fists and kicks from everywhere. She tried to gasp for air and beg them to stop and curl herself into a ball, when two bony hands wrapped around her throat. The long sharp nails of Cruella dug into her skin. She desperately clawed at the hands choking the air out of her. "We've had enough of you and your petty talk of helping us." The girl let go and Regina collapsed back onto the broken wood. She wanted to lift herself up, but the next thing she saw was Killian's hateful face and the underside of a boot. Glass cracked and a blood curdling scream tore from her throat when it made contact with her face, the glass shards from her broken glasses being pressed into her eyes. Then, finally, everything went black.

* * *

"Miss Mills? Regina, can you hear me?" A calm, soothing voice was floating around her, wrapping her in warmth. "Regina, are you with me?" Then she registered the beeping sound. "What…", she wanted to ask, but trailed off. "It's okay. You're in the hospital, don't worry. I'm Nurse Mal, I'll take care of you." Regina pried her eyes open, just to be met with a jumbled mess, unable to make out anything. "What's wrong with my eyes? Why can't I see? I can't see!" She was panicking, her breathing became erratic and the blaring sounds from some monitor attached to her become more hectic. The nurse tried to calm her down as memories flooded her mind. The kids, their attack, the faces, … the boot! "I just wanted to help", she whispered. "I just wanted to help!", she began to scream, shaking in the hospital bed. Heavy footsteps were fast approaching. Then two firm hands held her and a needle was pricked into her arm, immediately taking the edge off. "I just wanted to…" Then she was out.

She gasped in shock when she came to again. The soothing voice was there immediately. "Shhhh. Calm down. I'm here with you." And somehow, she actually calmed down. "I'm sorry we had to sedate you, you had a panic attack and were a risk to yourself. The doctor will be here in a minute to talk to you." The nurse was there with her, rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand, until the heavy footsteps, apparently the doctor's, returned. "Hello, I'm Doctor Whale. You're in Boston Medical. Do you remember what happened to you?" "I...I was attacked", she began, but couldn't get herself to go on. "It's okay, we're patching you up. You're in good hands." Then she managed to formulate the question: "What is wrong with my eyes?" Whale gulped. "We pulled an excessive amount of glass out of your eyes. We tried to fix everything, but it appears the damage to your eyes is even worse than anticipated. I don't think you are going to get your vision back." The doctor paused to give her time to process. Regina wanted to cry, but wasn't able to produce any tears. "There is also severe damage to your back, I need to check if it has damaged any nerves." He touched her left foot. "That's cold", Regina exclaimed. "Very well, you have feeling. That's good." He repeated the same action on the right foot, with the same reaction. "Feeling in both legs, that's a good sign. Can you wiggle your toes for me, please?" After a long moment of trying she shook her head. She willed her feet so hard to do something, but they didn't move. A sob came over her lips and she went back to what seemed her mantra: "I just wanted to help!" Mal saw how worked up her patient got and immediately went back to soothing her, while the doctor left her room. She went on to tell Regina what had happened. She told her how the neighbor, Mr. Locksley, had heard shouts and went to check, when he saw the door open. He had gone inside and found her unconscious and called the ambulance. Mal also told her that the police would like her to give a statement, but Regina wasn't able to talk about what happened.

Over the next weeks, the injuries apart from the back and eyes healed sufficiently. Her mind was a totally different issue. How was she supposed to get over what happened and let go when in her mind, all she saw was the hate in their faces? The silence around her was suffocating. The only voices she would hear from day to day were the doctor's and Mal's. The nurse was an angel, never in her life had Regina met anyone this caring. "Talk to me", she asked. "Just talk to me. The silence and the darkness are too much." Mal gave her hand a slight squeeze. "Sure. What do you want me to talk about?" "I don't care, I just want to hear your voice. I suppose you could tell me about your day, or work." "Oh there's not much to talk about. I treat the patients, they don't like me, I treat them anyway." "But why would anyone not like you? You're the most caring person I've ever met!", Regina exclaimed. "I think my appearance might throw people off somehow. Apparently, it's so scary I remind people of a dragon. Kids whisper about the scary dragon bitch that is gonna roast and eat them." "Those people are stupid to judge you by your looks. Can't happen with me", she chuckled. "I can only judge you by your warmth and your care and your voice, and let me tell you, I've never seen a soul as kind as you." Mal was openly crying at this point. "Thank you", she whispered through tears. They sat for a while until the nurse had to wipe her face dry and go care for other patients.

One morning about three weeks after she had been brought in, the doctor returned to her room. Not one to lose many words, he cut straight to the chase. "Miss Mills, I have news for you. We're transferring you to Storybrooke Mental. You will be picked up in about an hour." Mal was there again. "Storybrooke is a good place for you. It's a fusion of hospital and a mental facility. We have done everything we can for you, apart from your back and eyes you're almost back to normal physically. But this whole ordeal has impacted you psychologically, and that's not our field. I promise, they will be able to help you a lot better. You can get therapy and they can take care of you should you have any more trouble with any of your injuries. It was wonderful meeting you, Regina. Take care."

The ride on the ambulance service took about an hour. About halfway, Regina had asked the nurse in the back with her to talk to her. She couldn't stand the silence anymore, so the nurse talked about whoknowswhat, which helped. She had no idea what she was saying , but the sound of a voice felt comforting. The transporter stopped.

"Storybrooke Mental, here we are." The door was opened and she was wheeled out and inside a building. She was pushed through a maze of hallways, unable to keep an orientation, until she was in a room. "Welcome to Storybrooke", a warm voice said. "I'm Dr. Hopper, your psychologist. You can call me Archie." He sounded genuinely friendly. Regina had had trouble being comfortable with new people since the incident, but she immediately trusted Archie. He was explaining everything to her and she felt safe with him.

Storybrooke Mental was a special mental facility, one of the best in the country. And it practically was an asylum/hospital package, because its reputation gained them the very hard cases, often patients with a tendency towards violence. Regina would have daily single therapy sessions with Dr. Hopper, since she didn't feel safe enough about sitting in a room with a dozen or more other people, which meant she wouldn't do group therapy. And she'd get a wheelchair to regain her mobility. She took everything in, then the doctor left her room. Who would have thought that she'd be on the receiving end of psychotherapy once, she chuckled darkly.

* * *

It had been a few days and Regina wasn't leaving her room, despite being mobile in a wheelchair by now. The thought of being with total strangers without being able to see them scared her, so they had resorted to bringing her meals into her room to eat and the therapy sessions took place in her room. Today, Dr Hopper wanted to try something. She hadn't opened up to him in their therapy sessions, she would just sit in silence the whole time, while he talked about whatever came to mind. But maybe, she would open up to someone else. "Hello Regina. I thought you could use a friend. Say hi to Mary Margaret." Regina turned her face to the origin of the sound. She had grown fairly good at telling the direction a sound came from. "Hi", she said, which was a start. Archie left the two women in the room, smiling. Mary Margaret was one of their more difficult patients. Mostly because she wouldn't stop talking. She had an exceptionally hard case of ADHD. Even the best therapists were too annoyed by her constant chattering, even he himself found his patience often wearing thin. But he had observed that Regina felt better listening to people talk. A perfect match.

And indeed, over the next days he noticed a slight change in her. She still stayed in her room all the time, but she was more at ease when Mary Margaret was there. And Mary Margaret was absolutely thrilled to have someone whose ear she could talk off. The first real conversation they had was Regina asking Mary Margaret what she looked like. "I want to at least feel like I know who I'm talking to", she had said. The girl had of course started to talk. "Well, I'm pretty short. I have black hair and you could say I'm very pale…" "So basically a real-life Snow White", Regina interrupted her. "You could say that." Both started to laugh, which was something Regina hadn't done in ages. It felt good. The therapy sessions yielded no progress however. They had developed a routine of small talk that eased Regina a little, far enough for her to even contribute to the conversation. Talking about anything and everything, such as the weather was not helping a tad though. But at least, she didn't say nothing anymore.

One day, Archie felt he had touched a sensitive topic. While he was sure it had nothing to do with the incident, family was a sore topic for Regina. Particularly her mother, Cora. Cora Mills was a vile woman who had never supported Regina, always throwing rocks in her way and telling her what a disappointment she was. Until Regina had believed her. Regina's face lit up slightly when talking about her father, who loved her dearly. A pity that he was too much a coward to stand up to Cora. Listening to bits and pieces of her life story, Archie realized just how broken this woman before him was. And it was not all to blame on the attack, the damage went way back.

It was another day, when he tried a different method. "You know, I read in your file that you're a psychologist as well. I could use some advice between colleagues." "I don't think I'm gonna be much help," Regina hesitated. Archie had by now long discovered her self-esteem to be practically non-existent. He wasn't going to let it go however. "It's just, I have this patient, and I could use a second opinion. She's been here for a while and hasn't opened up to me. Something terrible happened to her and she is suffering, having panic attacks and almost completely isolating herself. I just want to help, but she is so closed off and doesn't let anyone in. What do you say, Doctor Mills?" He could see the wheels in her head turning and grinned. He had her. "I believe it might be PTSD, stemming from a very traumatizing event in her past. Possibly, with a tad of depression thrown into the mix, from what you tell me about the isolation part." "A thorough diagnosis, Doctor Mills. That is what I was thinking as well. Good job. Self-awareness is the first step in the right direction. Regina, you're one hell of a psychologist, look at your own diagnosis. You do a wonderful job when it's about other people. Why is it so hard for you to care for yourself? Let me help you, please."

"So, what do you want to do when you get out of here?, Archie asked in one session. "I don't know", Regina replied weakly. "All this time, I've only ever wanted to help people, but now I don't think I can do this anymore." "Of course you can. You're a very strong person, with a goodness in your heart that nobody else has. Don't let those people tear you apart, show them that they haven't won by staying strong. You need to find the fire inside you again and be a beacon to everyone else to guide them out of the dark. You can be the light by being the spark we need. You just have to stand up again." Regina snorted. "You see the irony yourself, don't you?", she asked as she gestured to her wheelchair. Archie sighed, she had a point.

* * *

The next days saw some change. At Mary Margaret's suggestion, Regina had begun to learn Braille from the facility's head librarian Belle. And today, she had let herself be talked into leaving her room. Mary Margaret had coerced her into letting her push the wheelchair outside to enjoy the warmth of the garden. It felt surprisingly good to breathe in the fresh air of the facility's own garden. Mary Margaret kept talking and talking, describing the garden for Regina. Hearing about the huge trees, colorful flowers and fresh green hedges made her gloomy. She would never be able to see all that again. She let her imagination wander.

That was something that had come to her with being unable to see, her imagination went totally wild and created images of her surroundings in her head based on what she was told. Whenever she was alone, she'd shut everything off and just be in her mind. A few days after being admitted to Storybrooke, she had begun to have some ideas that eventually formed a story. She had eventually told Dr. Hopper and he was extremely fascinated by her stories, whenever she narrated a part. It was him who had suggested she should write a book. By now she could probably even fill a whole novel series. If only she were able to actually write it all down. It was all in her head, but she had no idea how she should let it out. And since she was unable to note things down, she focused very hard to put all her ideas in order in her mind and not forget anything. It was a good focus training. Right now, all she wanted to focus on was the garden however. Her friend had taken her to one of the apple trees to sit in its shade for a bit. She was describing the beautiful red color of the apples, when Regina heard a familiar voice.

"So, how did you all end up in here?", a young guy asked a group of seven that were hanging out in a corner. "Oh nothing. Just beat up our therapy guard weasel and escaped our petty excuse of a prison," Zelena said. "Kinda sad they got us again, but just the sight of that bitch all beaten up was all worth it", Peter chimed in. "You should have seen it, it was awesome."

Just a few meters away, said therapy guard weasel was choking up. "Back inside, now!", was all she could manage. Mary Margaret immediately detected the urgency in her friend's voice and pushed her back to her room. Regina was sinking deeper and deeper into her panic attack. As soon as they were back, the girl went to press the blue button that alerted Dr. Hopper, before sitting down next to her friend and rubbing circles over her back. "What's wrong", she asked. "It's them! They're here!", Regina cried over and over again. It didn't take long for Dr. Hopper to arrive. "What's going on?", he directed his question at Mary Margaret. "Who thought it would be a good idea to put her in the same place as the people who did this to her?", the girl practically shouted at him and the man paled. Great. Just great. The two were witnessing Regina literally breaking apart, this attack was worse than the ones she had before. "I was kicked and landed on a table" she stammered. "They… they beat me. I tried to get away, but they were everywhere. It hurt so much", she cried. "I was choked. And then I only remember his hateful face and a boot." She broke off trying to get her crying under control. "Whenever my mind is not occupied, all I can see is the hate and disgust in Killian's face before everything goes black." "It's okay, you're safe here, they can't hurt you here. In fact, the group therapy session is underway right now, which means they're all there." "So they found a sucker daring to do that?", Regina asked. "Do what?", Dr. Hopper asked confused. "I just wanted to help. I was their social worker/therapist/whatever. All I wanted was to help them!" The tears were streaming down the left side of her face while she cried her soul out. Mary Margaret held the racking form of her friend, she couldn't imagine how anyone could be this vicious. The tears kept coming and coming until suddenly, something changed. Regina gasped and blinked a few times. "I… I can see!", she exclaimed. She looked up into her friend's eyes. "It's good to see you, MM." Then she practically fell into her embrace. She gave Dr. Hopper who was sat behind MM a watery smile. "You too." She had another reason to cry with joy when her left leg twitched.

When she was done crying, the two wheeled her to the hospital ward in order to find out what had happened. It appeared, she had literally cried out the remaining damaging glass shards from her left eye. The leg had been a mental paralysis, which had become better together with her sight. The news were wonderful. The therapist realized the importance of the crying and he would have suggested she try to cry out her other eye as well, but the first one had already been terrible for her psyche. He really didn't want her to go through something like that again.

* * *

Regina spent the next days recovering the strength in her left leg with physical therapy. After a week, she was even able to walk with crutches. She had made a few rounds through the building while the teens were in group therapy so she could be sure she wouldn't run into any of them, with MM never leaving her side. Compared to her imagination, the building was a bit of a let-down. And now that she had some vision back, she had asked for access to a computer to write down her story. She was absolutely absorbed in writing, spending every single minute where she didn't have therapy or was walking in the library, where the computer was.

Some days later, she was at the computer again. "You should get a book deal with an audiobook recording", Dr. Hopper spoke softly from behind her, startling her and she turned around to face him. "Your narration is wonderful", he smiled. "Belle said I'd find you here. You have a visitor." Regina frowned. Who would want to see her? Outside this place, she had noone, the only people who gave a damn about her were Mary Margaret and Dr. Hopper. The latter motioned for her to follow him, so she logged off the computer, grabbed her crutches and got up. He led her around some huge bookshelves, towards the library's relaxation area.

When she spotted the person sitting on the couch, Regina couldn't believe it. "Regina, my dear!" Henry Mills was up as soon as he spotted his daughter. He crossed the distance and wrapped her in his hug. She was startled by the sudden contact at first, but soon eased in its warmth. She let go of her crutches and stood on her good leg, only to wrap her own arms around her daddy. "Hello, mi princesa." He helped her hobble to the couch, where the two sat down. Archie had left them to have their privacy. "So if you're here, mother can't be very far. Where is she?", Regina asked. "I don't know what she's been doing, I left her", Henry responded. "She was toxic and I couldn't go on like that anymore. I'm so proud of you for escaping her, when even I was too weak. You've inspired me and gave me the courage to leave as well. That woman is out of our lives for good." Regina smiled. All those years in which he had stood by too afraid to speak up against Cora, she had wished for her father to finally be free from her mother's influence. He was finally free. A tear left ran down her cheek and many more followed. From both eyes. After blinking for a bit, she found she had regained her right eyesight as well and her right leg had movement. She threw herself into her father's arms and held on as if there was no tomorrow.

* * *

Regina and Mary Margaret were released at the same time. Having someone there for her had been what MM needed to improve enough to be let out. Having no one but each other, the two friends decided to move in together. They got a pretty little apartment on the outskirts of Boston. MM got a job at a kindergarten. Being still a child in her mind, she met the children as equals, which was a wonderful match. The kids adored her. Regina continued writing her book series, she had signed with a label for one book to be released shortly. It felt like everything was finally coming together.

* * *

A few weeks had passed; Nurse Mal was doing her work routine, just like everyday. She was just headed to the staff area for lunch break when she passed the waiting area and heard a familiar low voice. "Not at all the scary dragon bitch I've been hearing about." She stopped and turned to look at the origin. What she saw made her jaw drop. The woman who had brought back her sense of self-worth was sitting in one of the chairs smiling directly at her. Then she got up and walked towards her to engulf her in a warm embrace. "Thank you. For everything", she heard her whisper. Days like this were the reason why she did what she did.

* * *

Fast forward a year, to a reading and signing session of "In The Shadows", the sequel to Gina Parrilla's bestseller novel "Spark". Critics were praising this new rising star author, who focused on character analysis in such a depth, that readers felt as if they could look into their heads. Everyone in attendance sat captivated by the woman narrating her newest masterpiece, no one noticed she hadn't turned a page in ten minutes and was telling the whole story from memory. When she was done, they were sad that it was over, but overjoyed at the opportunity to get their copies signed and actually meet the genius who had created this magnificent piece of art. She was glad to spend her time signing her books, casually chatting with fans.

About halfway through, the next thing that was put on her table wasn't a book, it was a drawing. Regina gasped and looked up into the eyes of a young woman. "That's… exactly how I had it in mind. It's wonderful..." "Emma." "You're crazy talented, Emma. This looks as if someone had dug through this weird little brain of mine and printed part of it out." The blonde girl was overjoyed at the compliment from her personal hero. "I wanted to thank you. I've been through some rough crap in my life and been thinking about giving up often. But then I got into your books and I identified with Roni. I saw just how much crap she's been through, and yet she kept going and fighting and making the world better, no matter what life threw at her. And that gave me hope and strength. You literally saved my life." Regina was at a loss for words. Helping people was what she had always wanted. Never had she imagined it would be this way, but it felt right to her. Life had come full circle and she was back on the track she had always wanted to be on. The knowledge of having helped just one person made her burst with glee. This was what she was meant for, she had finally found her purpose.


End file.
